Twenty-Nine

Tate

“You don’t get to come in here and badger me over this whole bullshit situation and then tell me I’m not the same girl you fell in love with. New flash, Fletcher, that stupid girl you knew in high school, the one who kissed you, got her heart broken. You don’t get to stand there and tell me I’m not the girl you fell in love with when you didn’t want her.”

“What do you mean?” He takes a step toward me.

I take a step back.

“If you wanted that girl, you would have her.”

“Tate.”

“No. It took everything in me, everything, to put that girl back together. So I’m sorry if the pieces weren’t put back together the way you wanted them to be, but she had to learn to move on and to do that, she needed to change.”

“That’s not fair.” His tongue runs over his bottom lip. “You shut that down. You shut us down. You don’t get to put that on me when I was all in.”

“All in?” I force a laugh, running my hand through my hair. “All in, Fletch? You laughed in my face. You—”

“I came to talk to you about that kiss, and you told me it was a mistake.”

I march forward, leaving mere inches between our bodies.

“You didn’t argue. Your response was so immediate, I knew—”

“You knew nothing!” His hands fly in the air. “I agreed with you because I thought it was the only thing that would save our friendship. You don’t get to stand there and blame me for this when you did the same thing. If we’re being honest right now, you shut down that kiss because you were scared I was coming to do just that. You chickened out. It’s not my fault that you forced my hand into agreeing with you.”

“Forced your hand? I was scared! Can you blame me? You were a flirt. You made out with girls all the time at those stupid parties, and I was supposed to assume I was different?”

“Yeah, you were. Because you weren’t like those other girls. You were my best friend. The one person who understood me like no one else. And the one person I couldn’t have. Everyone else was just a distraction, Tate, because I didn’t want to lose you.”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

Tears sting my eyes, and I do everything I can to hold them inside.

“So that’s it? We’re just throwing away over fifteen years of friendship?”

“I don’t know where we go from here, Fletch.”

I can’t even look at him.

I’ve run from my feelings for so long to avoid this moment… and here it is… happening anyway.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“I guess that’s it then.” I look up at him, but he’s not looking in my direction. He’s staring at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should go.”

“No—” I don’t get to finish my sentence before he’s out the door. He doesn’t even bother closing it behind him. “Fuck.” I fall onto the couch. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

I run my hands over my face as if that will make everything better. As if that will ease the pain. But I know it won’t. Nothing will. My biggest fear just happened. I lost the most important person in my life, and I don’t even know what to do now.

I try to hold in the tears, but it’s months of confusion, anger, and pain built up, and the second a tear escapes, the floodgates open.

How fucking pathetic? I’m sitting here sobbing on his couch, in his home that he left. If anyone should’ve left, it should’ve been me.

Fuck, I should’ve never said anything. I should’ve just told Fletcher to let it go. I should’ve just let it go.

I close my eyes, run my hands through my hair, and try to pull myself together. The last thing I should be doing is driving home like this, but I don’t want him to avoid his house because of me.

I let out a quick breath, push myself off the couch, and—

“Fletcher.”

I don’t phrase it as a question, but I definitely wasn’t expecting to turn and see him standing in the doorway.

“I thought you left.”

It’s a stupid thing to say. Again, this is his house. He probably realized on the way to his car that he had more of a right to stay here than I did.

“I did.” He doesn’t move from the doorway. His head slightly bobs as he rocks on his heels, looking anywhere but at me. “But then I realized how fucking stupid it would be for me to just walk away. We’ve been hiding from this for years, Tate. Running. But as I was walking to my car, I realized the reason we were running was that we were both scared of losing each other. And if that’s going to happen, if that’s how this ends, then—”

His eyes finally meet mine, and my heart sinks into my stomach.

“Then what?”

“Then fuck it.”

My head tilts gently to the side, and my eyebrows furrow, not fully understanding what he means. But then he slams the door shut behind him and bolts toward me.

I don’t even have time to fully react or comprehend what’s going on before he grabs my face between his hands and pulls me into him.

The kiss is full of urgency, want, and desire. And I can’t help but sink into him. This is so different from the first time we kissed. That was two kids who used alcohol as an excuse to give in.

We don’t have any excuses for this.

Only the truth.

We want this.

We’ve wanted this.

This kiss is full of all the years we fought this off.

His thumb brushes against my chin as he pulls back.

“If I’m going to lose you anyway,” he wet his lips, “I wasn’t going out with any regrets.”

His eyes soften, just for a moment, and then they’re indifferent. His hands fall away from my face, and he turns around.

My jaw practically hits the floor when I realize what he’s doing. He’s saying goodbye.

I grab his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

He looks at me, eyes full of uncertainty, and I don’t blame him. How do you give in to something you’ve spent your whole life running away from?

I take a step toward him. He stiffens slightly, but when my hand meets his face, he melts into me.

I press my lips against his. My kiss is softer than his. Full of more love than desire. Full of hope. A hope that shows him I don’t want this to be goodbye. I want it to be the start of something new between us. Something better.

He runs his tongue over my bottom lip, sending chills down my body. I wrap my arms around his neck and let Fletcher take full control. His tongue darts its way into my mouth, exploring every corner like he might not get another chance. My fingers roam his hair, pulling his lips even closer to mine, if that is even possible.

His lips leave mine and find their way down to my neck, kissing all the way down to my chest before finding my lips again. His hands travel down my body before stopping on my ass, and in one swift motion, he lifts me off the ground. My legs instantly wrap around his body as he walks us over to the couch. We sink into the cushions together, his lips never leaving mine.